Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize