Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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