...so i touched it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize