...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
