you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
