I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize