just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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