Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
