I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
