john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize