Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
