when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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