dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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