I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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