where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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