i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
