fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
