we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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