I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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