you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
