in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
