Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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