we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Houston, we have a squirter
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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