Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
