remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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