I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize