whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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