ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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