Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
