Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
