that's an acceptable place to lick
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
