but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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