I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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