Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
