Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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