ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
