if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
