Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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