A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize