I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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