the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
