You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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