I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize