As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
