At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
