R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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