i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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