Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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