So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
