Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
