why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
