we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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