the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
