i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
