its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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