you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
