I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize