I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
