i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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