Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
