The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
