Buhtt sex?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
