I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize