I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
