Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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