I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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