idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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