We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want to fling myself into the sun
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
