Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My vagina is very pro this idea
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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