That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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