We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
