Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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