I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
