i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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