Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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