take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
