This girl is more easily done than said...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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