Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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