i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
