I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
